Flourish 52 is all about creating the conditions in our lives to flourish. This article covers we’re aiming for and a few tips on what to do if you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed.
Here’s what you’ll find in this article:
- What it means to flourish, so that we know what we’re aiming for.
- How to assess where you are in your life right now.
- A few ideas if you feel really stuck or overwhelmed and how to get moving again.
So what is flourishing?
It turns out that there are some researchers who have been working out a definition and model for flourishing, including how to measure it.
Dr. Martin Seligman is the pioneer of this research. He even has a book called Flourish.
Seligman has come up with a model he calls PERMA.
P – Positive emotions, like hope, joy, love, etc.
E – Engagement with the the world, work or hobbies
R – Relationships that are deep and meaningful
M – Meaning; finding purpose and meaning in life
A – Accomplishments; achieving goals through cultivating strengths and talents
You can find an article about the PERMA model here. We’ll take a look at these individually in the coming weeks.
Of course, there’s another element to flourishing in our lives and that’s physical health. For our purposes in Flourish 52, I’ll be altering the acronym to be PERMAH, so that it encompasses physical health as well as mental, emotional and social health.
Assessing our lives right now
Now we know a bit about where we’re headed in this project. Let’s talk about figuring out where we are right now.
Assessing how we’re doing in these categories can be as simple as a quick gut check, or as involved as doing weeks-long journaling.
You may already have a sense of the areas that you want to work on. There are a few that jumped out right away as areas in my life that could use improvement and attention, but journaling has also led me to some discoveries for myself as well.
If you’d like to go a bit deeper than a quick gut check, here are a few ideas:
You can get a free download of the Life Compass Assessment here (you’ll need to enter your email to access the files). This tool looks at the various categories in life and asks you questions to assess how things are going in each category, so you have a baseline score to work with.
An idea from Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map is to create two lists:
A list of what you’re grateful for and why you’re grateful for that thing (be very specific in making this list).
A list of what’s not working and why it’s not working.
This journaling prompt may turn up some thoughts that you didn’t realize were there, while also building some positive emotions by listing things you’re grateful for.
What to do if you’re overwhelmed or feeling stuck?
What if you feel very stuck, like it all just feels too heavy to make forward progress? Consider seeking out a therapist. Sometimes it really helps to just talk to someone.
Also keep in mind that we’re not trying to makeover our whole lives in just one week or even one year. There’s no race or rush or pressure.
I remember listening to an old recording of Zig Ziglar speaking to an audience. He asked people to raise their hand if they could think of something they could do right now that would make their lives worse. Everyone in the audience raised their hand.
Then Zig said that it stands to reason, if you can do something right now to make your life worse, you can also do something right now to make your life better.
He’s absolutely right. We have more agency and choice over things than we often realize. By layering small, positive actions on top of each other over time, things will change. We will change for the better.
Here’s a list of tiny things you can do to make life better. Pick one of these or choose your own and try it for a week to see if it can help you get past the feeling of being stuck. Focus on how you feel after doing the task, then remember those positive feelings the next day when it’s time to do the task again.
- Clean the kitchen sink – This tried-and-true idea has been used by Fly Lady and many others
- Make your bed – I used this idea many, many years ago to help get me out of a hard place
- Take a walk, even a very short one. Try walking to the mailbox and back. Or walk three houses up from yours and back.
- Put on shoes, even in the house – Another Fly Lady stand-by. Since I work from home, this one is really helpful in making me feel more awake and productive.
- Do 5 minute yoga stretch each morning – You can find many videos like this on YouTube.
- Call a friend or family member
- Make a sticker chart for yourself – This sounds childish, and maybe it is, but I’ve used sticker charts for myself many times and it works for me in tracking various habits.
Next week we’ll talk about building positive emotions. I’ll share a powerful technique I’ve used several times over the years to put an end to negative thought spirals.