Someone said to me recently, “You don’t appreciate what you’ve had till you’ve lost it”.

She was speaking in terms of physical mobility and health, making the point that as we get older we can do less.

She’s both right and wrong about that statement.

Yes, as we age, we tend to have less strength, agility and mobility.

However, that doesn’t mean that we can’t appreciate our health and mobility while we’ve got it.

But what does it mean to really appreciate what we have while we have it?

Whether we’re talking about health, mobility, finances, work life, relationships or anything else, what does it mean to truly appreciate what we have while we still have it?

Is it just saying that we’re thankful and then moving on with our day?

I think there’s much more to it than that.

What’s really behind the statement, “You don’t appreciate what you’ve had till you’ve lost it.”?

Behind that statement is regret.

Not just regret for losing something that you once had, but regret in not taking responsibility and action where we can.

In addition to regret, there may also be a belief that there’s nothing we can do about any of it. That time and circumstances will take from us what it will and there’s nothing we can do.

But we do have some control and agency in our lives.

As people who are working to create conditions and actions in our lives to flourish, we know there are things in our control that will improve the situations we face.

So how do we truly appreciate what we have and what does that look like?

Here are three steps to take that will lead to appreciating what we’ve been given.

Become aware

Pay attention to every area of your life and notice where things are good and where improvements could be made.

Accept responsibility

It’s important to accept responsibility for our actions, thoughts and attitudes.

There are actions that we need to take to be care-takers of our relationships, health, finances, etc.

We must take responsibility for maintaining and growing these areas of our lives. When we’re actively taking responsibility for growing the good things in our lives, we’re less likely to take them for granted.

Look at others who are ahead of you

Look at people who have done what you’re about to do or who have been on the path longer. Look at folks who you admire for how well they’re doing, but also look at people who aren’t thriving. Copy the actions of the successful and learn lessons from the lives of people who aren’t succeeding.

We know that nothing lasts forever, but that doesn’t mean we need to experience the regret of wishing we’d done better or paid more attention to those good things while we had them.

Intentionally creating conditions to flourish in our lives will help us appreciate all the gifts we’ve been given, while we still have them.