I’ve talked about making a list of desired feelings before, but today let’s explore core values.
Core values are not the same as desired feelings.
Desired feelings are chosen and they are a bit aspirational. This is deciding how we’d like to feel and then moving in a direction and/or doing the work that helps us to feel that way.
Core values are not chosen. We hold them as deep beliefs and ideas inside ourselves, but often we haven’t taken the time to truly know our core values.
Here’s why we want to know what our core values are – We can use them as our guiding principles in decision making, in interacting with other people, and in living in a way that meets our definition of a life well-lived.
Since January, we’ve been talking about how to create conditions in our lives in order to flourish.
Knowing our core values, what’s truly important to us will help us know what we need to spend our time doing, where we need to make changes and more.
When we get the feeling that we’re languishing instead of flourishing, the reason could be that we’re not honoring our core values.
How to Discover your core values:
So how do you discover your core values? Here are a few questions to get you started. The deeper you go in this and the more time you put into it, the more likely you are to discover your true core values.
1. Think of a time that was very meaningful to you or you found to be a peak experience. What values were you honoring during that time?
2. Consider a time when things didn’t go the way you wanted and you were unsatisfied with the situation. What values were being overlooked?
3. What types of people are you inspired by? What values are they displaying that attract you?
Although we don’t choose our values from a list, it is helpful to look at a list to get some ideas rolling in your mind. Here’s a large list of core values to get you started.
Once you begin to develop a list of core values that resonate with you, try narrowing it down to 5-10 total.
When you’ve narrowed your list, live with it for a bit, reviewing the values to see how they resonate. You might find yourself making some adjustments.
Now that you have your list, consider areas of life where you feel like you aren’t flourishing.
Are you upholding your core values in those areas? Are there any adjustments you can make in order to align more closely with your values?
I’ve recently gone through the process of discovering my core values, and it’s been eye-opening for me. There are some adjustments I need to make in a few areas. I may write about that process more in the future.
I hope you’ve found this helpful.
Hi Tiffany! I see a theme in your October Flourishes! Connecting with people. Visiting your aunts and uncles with your parents, your daughter coming to watch a show, Hiking with your son, starting a conversation with someone you do not know. I recently heard a talk from a med student who had grown up in NYC. He said even though he was surrounded by people, it was easy to feel lonely. He and another student have opened a care center in our town. Doctors, nurses, medical students and nursing students volunteer. A church donates food. There is a sign outside the care center which says “Free food, free doctors, free coffee”. He talked about how he feels more connected now and happier. Inviting these 2 med students to speak at a nursing conference was my big flourish this month. I connected them with my group. They were so good, the nurses at our conference loved them! My other flourish is spending more time with my mom, hearing her stories, helping her now when she needs me. I think about how much she helped me all my life. So it’s good 🙂